


go the fuck to sleep phil

by itsmyusualphannie (itsmyusualday)



Series: dip and pip domestic fluff [5]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Arguing, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Phil Lester Is A Cereal Thief, Swearing, i love that that's a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 09:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17957588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsmyusualday/pseuds/itsmyusualphannie
Summary: in which dan is a koala and phil is a liar





	go the fuck to sleep phil

“Dan,” said Phil.

A pause.

“Dan,” Phil repeated.

Dan grumbled but didn’t move.

“ _Dan_ ,” Phil insisted. “Dan, you have to let go of me. I need to get up.” He shook Dan’s shoulders.

Dan whined loudly, still refusing to release his tight grip around Phil’s waist.

“Wake up,” Phil ordered. He patted Dan’s angrily scrunched face and grinned fondly at him, then winced. “Christ, you’re like a koala.” He squirmed against Dan’s grip, dislodging the blanket that was scrunched around their hips.

“Noo,” Dan moaned as Phil slithered free. He sprawled out on the bed, reaching pathetically after Phil. His eyes were still closed but he looked absolutely exhausted and irritated at having lost his cuddle partner.

“I’ll be right back,” Phil reassured him. “I just need to wee.” He darted out of the room before Dan could grab him.

“Phiiiiil…” Dan flailed an arm until he found a pillow, then hauled it to his chest and clutched it tightly. He snuffled into it and tried to fall back to sleep.

Phil came back a few minutes later and his face immediately softened upon seeing Dan hugging the pillow in place of Phil. “I’m back,” he said, slipping onto the bed next to Dan and tugging the blanket up around them again.

Dan huffed into the pillow and turned away from the disruption on the bed. “Phil,” he said sleepily into the pillow cover.

“Yes?” Phil sidled up behind him and slipped an arm around his waist.

“You suck,” said Dan.

Phil kissed a damp curl at the back of his neck. “Mmm,” he agreed.

Dan flopped around to face Phil, almost hitting Phil in the chin. With lines from the blanket on one cheek and unruly hair, he looked completely sleep-rumpled.

“You’re adorable,” Phil told him. He took the pillow and Dan barely resisted.

“I’m fucking tired,” Dan griped. “Why are you so awake? It’s...what time is it?”

“Three,” Phil suggested, tossing the pillow to the side. He had no clue what time it was.

“It’s three. I want to sleep.”

“I just needed to...pee,” Phil said, unconvincingly. Phil was terrible at lying in the middle of the night.

Dan blinked slowly at him.

“Good night?” Phil offered.

Dan narrowed his eyes. He gained a burst of energy, shoving Phil to his back and straddling him. He leaned over, his nose brushing Phil’s.

“I thought you were tired,” Phil squeaked.

“I am,” said Dan. He nipped at Phil’s lower lip, then kissed him with a fierceness that clacked their teeth together. A good two minutes later, he sat back on Phil’s hips with an irritated look on his face. “I fucking knew it.”

Phil swept his tongue over his swollen lips and squirmed under Dan’s solid weight. “Er...what?”

“You didn’t need to pee,” Dan accused. “You were just hungry.”

It was Phil’s turn to blink, wide and innocent. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

Dan swatted his thigh. “You taste like _my fucking cinnamons_.”

“Oh,” Phil said weakly.

Dan threw himself off Phil and grabbed the pillow again. “Fuck you,” he groused into it. “Made me wake up and disrupt my sleep just for cereal.”

Phil poked at a scrape that Dan’s sharp teeth had left on his lip. “Ow. I couldn’t help it, I was hungry. Also, taste-kissing is unfair.”

“Your mum’s unfair,” Dan retorted.

A long pause. There was still no good answer to ‘your mum’ comments.

“Cuddles?” Phil finally asked hopefully.

“You don’t deserve cuddles.”

“But...you were just mad at me for stopping the cuddles!”

“And now I’m mad because you stole my cereal again,” Dan said.

Phil whined. “But...I’m cold. And I don’t have a pillow like you do.”

Dan slapped him in the head with said pillow, then just left it lying there on Phil’s face.

“I’ll buy you more cereal,” Phil said, muffled.

“That’s just a given.” Dan smacked him a few more times for good measure.

When he stopped, Phil brushed away the wild hairs across his face and peered over at him. “So...cuddles now?”

“Fuck off,” Dan said sleepily, but he reached out an arm, apparently satisfied that Phil had been punished enough for his wrongdoings. Phil slipped under the arm and snuggled into Dan’s chest.

“Why do I put up with you?” Dan questioned.

“Because you _loove_ me.”

“That’s debatable.”

“Luuurrvveee.”

“Go the fuck to sleep.”

“I love _you_.”

“No.”

“But _Dan_.”

“No.”

“Daaan, say you love me.”

“No.”

“Daniel.”

“ _Go the fuck to sleep, Phil._ ”

“...I kind of have a sugar rush.”

“If you don’t go to sleep, you’re going to be on the goddamn couch for the _next month_.”

Phil decided to go to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr at [itsmyusualphannie.tumblr.com](https://itsmyusualphannie.tumblr.com)!


End file.
